Focusing On Myself For A Change
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Focusing on myself for a change...
I find myself appologizing a lot these days and sometimes I'm not sure why. To appologize for living your life seems somehow like self denial. There are of course times that I have to be selfish, and not for selfishness' sake...but as so many songs I've heard proclaim, I've just got to take care of me. I'm sorry that there are times that I can't be what everyone needs me to be, and right now is definitely one of those times. I know it's not wrong, but I still feel like I'm being mean. Right now I have to take the time to do what's right for number one. I'm putting together the pieces again, and collecting myself after having come undone. I don't like math but I know it's a fact that one and one is two.....so how can I be a part of a couple if the only one of us that's whole is you? I don't suppose anyone would want to be a part of a a one a one fourth couple....I can't imagine wanting 1/2 a lover, 3/4 of a girlfriend,or 87% of a person to lean on. Right now I need to take care of me, I'm doing what I have to do. I won't lie, or cheat, or steal, or hurt anyone, but I will tell anyone and everyone no if I have to....because right now I just can't abide putting one more life in front of mine. It often seems that no good deed goes unpunished or at least that's how it feels for me, and I think it's about time for me to have my time....to get things sorted, and to stand back on my feet. When everything is said and done I'll be a better me, and the same old parts that have always been here are still here and waiting patiently to come back out and see the sun again. I will be able to work on love among other things. Right now I just need to work on me and I hope everyone can understand, and if they are really on my side then for now, for everyone, that will be enough.