Learning

Learning....
Current mood: annoyed
Category: Life
It's amazing to me that I get the chance for my best and oldest friend to go out of town for a weekend....and all of a sudden out of nowhere...


Everyone questions everything they know about me.
Really makes me question who my friends are.
So I choose to tell some people some things and not others.
That's my choice.
My right.
Maybe there are parts of my past I don't feel that everyone has a right to know.
That's my decision to make-not yours.
Apparently though....that right has been taken......which makes me remember once again why I don't share my life with others.
However---if I did share personal information with you...it was because I trusted you----**NOTE TO SELF** this will not happen again. And you know who you are.
So....since everyone already chose to air my dirty laundry.....
Let me help with your facts.......ready?
I've lost a child...she's buried in Hannibal...and my best friend Heather had to help
me learn how to live again after that.
I probably slept with your boyfriend in the past
And hey I may have been mean to you
I learned the hard way...still am
Because I fucked up
I made mistakes
Just like you
I take full responsibility for my mistakes...all of them
i'm honest about them. and THAT is my problem. trusting.




I'm happy everyone felt they've had a right to discuss my past and my life amongst themselves all the while judging me...
I feel like I'm coming out all over again and learning who my friends are.
Everyone was so quick to respond to the rumors and judge me...but should maybe consider self evaluation?


The 3 people that have been in my life for over twenty years...whom in the past I have fucked over more than anyone ever should be able to do in one lifetime are still my best friends, and they love me for who I am. They've watched me grow into the person I am today
They should not even be a part of my life because of the things I did to them. and yet...through it all--here they are.
I would like to say thank you to Heather, Steph, and Sarah.....who have been there through it all....and here they still are......
I hope that one day i'm able to give you back all of the love, support and encouragement you've given me.
If after reading this you feel the need to quiestion ANYTHING about me...feel free to ask them.....because apparently my word isn't enough...but be prepared they're protective.
Also please know that your words do not harm me...but remember after you've said them...you can NEVER take them back.





A wise man once said---the unexamined life isn't worth living.-Socrates
Know Thyself.-Aristotle

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