My Family

You know....sometimes things happen and then we wonder why....we sit and think about what possible reason there coupd be for having to have gone through something.....sometimes without ever getting an answer to it.

I'm kind of at that point. The last couple weeks have been......hell.
There really is no better word for it.
My uncle was killed....
In a fireBy someone that he didn't even know...

This alone.....is something that I don't know if my family will ever recover from. I just don't.

Every day we get reminded. Every day. I went to Quizno's for lunch on Saturday because it's close to work....and someone recognized me from the interview. The person said something to me.....

She said...ya know I'm a christian...and I know I'm supposed to forgive.....but I do believe in how they used to do things...an eye for an eye...tit for tat...that man ought to die. I have to say I agree...

So as my family is realing from this....as we are praying for strength....trying to put together the pieces....and wonder how we are to get through this....it seems unreal. We've been to both court dates already....and on my birthday...November 18th...the trial starts. And I'll be there....and so will the rest of my family I'm sure. This tragedy....has somehow managed to pull us together closer than ever. It's made us look closer at what we have. How much we do love and care for one another. It's.......it's what's getting us through...

So the call I recieved yesterday kind of brought it all right back to the front of my mind....and to be honest I could only think the worst....I could only imagine how bad it was....I could only think of one thing.......God I can't lose my little brother.

On Saturday night....outside of the phoenix nightclub between it and the why not hot tub place there on Maine street here in Quincy my little brother, Robert, was attacked and mugged. I got a call yesterday morning from my friend Shane saying.....your brothers jaw is just hanging there. And I freaked. I realize that maybe I should have calmed myself down and just tried to see reason. To be okay....but all I could think was God no no no.....PLEASE no. Not my brother. He HAS to be okay.....I didn't know how bad or okay he was. All I knew was he was in the ER. I wasn't okay with that....I didn't have my car. I didn't know how I was going to get there....I didn't care. I was going to walk. It was my brother. Period. Walking into the ER at Blessing yesterday I didn't know what to expect....I didn't know just how bad it might be.....and then I walked in....saw him and started bawling. Like a big baby. I of course stopped because the thing my brother can't stand is whining women. lol

The fact is that he's okay....he had surgery on his jaw yesterday...it was broken in three places.....so badly in one that we thought he was missing a tooth and it turns out that it was just seperated that much. They put in metal plates.....screws and wired it shut. He'll be in the hospital for a couple days at least......BUT HES OKAY. I keep telling myself that. I dunno.....I know how my dad and aunt struggled with burying my uncle....their baby brother.....which is even what his tombstone is going to say....and the thought of losing my own baby brother....I don't know that I'd be able to function.

Sure we fight and argue and bicker. There are times we'd like to strangle one another....but in the same breath we both know....we'll ALWAYS be there for one another. Just like we always have. I love my brothers. Both of them....and I'd give my life for them in an instant. I wish there was someway to wrap them up and keep them both safe forever. I know there isn't though....So instead I pray...non stop every day for their safety. I just hope God believes my family has suffered enough for now......Maybe we can have a moment to breathe.....

Thanksgiving is coming up...and while it seems like we maybe shouldn't celebrate because what do have to be thankful for......I think of my brothers....my sister.....my parents...anuts...uncles....cousins....grandparents....and I remember...THAT'S what we have. We have each other. And we'll always have each other.

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