So Last Night....Ugh.

So last night we're sitting at home...minding my business....visiting with Steph and Mitzi and Matt....playing with the new puppy.....Btw...her name is Star and she is a Miniture Dachsund, when I get this text....

it says....I read ur lucid ramblings. U know after reading that, I couldn't help but think u must have forgot that I went with u for support....
Okay now first of all I've said ty a million and one times for her going to my uncle's funeral with me. I've even written about it. About how much this person means to me. Her...her daughter and her husband. Because they do. They have. and I love her like she was my actual Sister. But wow.

I explained that I had written yesterday as an apology mainly to HER AND ANNA because I felt like I had neglected them as friends lately. And I felt like shit about it. I wasn't trying to save face or make myself feel better. I just felt bad and wanted them to know. ....the response to that.......

Your apology should or could have been one sentence in an email. U could have put..to my friends I'm sorry if U think that i have forgot u but I am happy and am worrying about myself.

OUCH!

I don't ever ignore friends to that point. I don't feel like I am more important than them on any level.

My response to that was that I wasn't doing that. That while yes I am happy and in a great relationship I wasn't intentionally ignoring anyone. and that it was for her and anna.

I get this after that...

It's cool. I was just sharing my thoughts with you man, They all should know that when you get a gf then you stop talking to everyone.

WOW! do I really do that? I thought I made time for both. I mean I talk to friends every day...I make time to see the ones that live here every week. Am I still ignoring them?!?!?!?!?

Basically the texts got worse from that point on..........and I called her. and it wasn't pretty either. She feels betrayed basically. Because for one her ex is the one that did my tattoo. She's upset because at first I didn't tell her who did it. I lied....not out of meanness....not out of trying to lie...just to try and spare her feelings. I didn't want her to feel hurt. Looks like I fucked that up huh?

I sent her a lot of texts telling her how I felt about everything last night. For the first time really. I've never really told her off...or how I felt. I've always just kept it in, Cause I've tried to just be a good friend.....even if that meant taking a lot of crap. Not from just her either....from ppl in general....most of the time when things upset me I never say a word. Last night though....

I just lost it. Steph was sitting there and she said...Nicky....U HAVE to tell her off. U have to tell her how you feel. U cant sit there and cry about being upset about the way she's acting towards u and not say a thing. UGH!!!!! So I did.

I don't really feel any better about the situation....in fact it makes me sad. I miss my friend. The one that I could talk to on the phone for hours and know we were always going to be there for one another.

Not this person......because this is NOT the person I know. This is NOT my best friend...this is someone completely differant.

And I don't like it one bit.

Comments

~*~*Nic*~*~ said…
And like I've said repeatedly....I only lied to you to spare your feelings. No it wasn't right...but it wasn't some big conspiracy like some ppl seem to think it was.
Heather said…
It was a conspiracy and we both know why. Note to Nicky and I: People in Quincy, will ALWAYS go one sided. Where did all the open minds go? Except our little Sarah, thank you. Your still the best! We love you! And Ash too!
Thanks to everyone for participating in my survey for the one Chapter in my book that Nicky and I are writing together. Again thanks and no need to be upset, it was planned that way to get a reaction. Thank you. Love~ Heather

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